Today a small nursery garden is mourning the loss of one seedling pea member, Miss Sweetie, while praying for the swift recovery of the elder, Mr Goji Berry who remains in intensive care after losing 99% of his skin surface during the vicious assault. An assault which could have devastated the entire community, completely unprepared for the slimy villains, had it not been so that the hero happened to be awake at that ungodly hour of the night, and had it not been so that a light was left on at the bottom of the yard.
The army of snails had surrounded the fresh young innocent lettuce seedlings. They had encapsulated the pubescent peas with their molluskular presence. Their preference for the blood of babies, vicious.
They advanced upon the concrete plains, they slithered silently up the branches of bushes, they came in their hundreds, they came, and they devoured all in their way. As our witness Mr Goji Berry, can attest. In fact, he is also a hero, for had he not been so selfless, (and so apparently delicious,) many more garden members could have lost their lives last night.
The snails sanguine slither camouflages their murderous compulsions. No need for speed when you’ve got the need to feed.

So the garden gives thanks to it’s heroes last night. They thank her brutal boots and pellets of iron for saving them in just the nick of time.

Dramatic? Me?